After I had walked right away from her, just after saying to her in the discotheque ,”You dance was great.” All that she said to the girls around her was “He is hitting on me.”
I mean What the Fuck.
I mean, okae you are very fair and very pretty as people say and since you have learned dancing so you dance well. But, does it mean that I am hitting on you?
Well, No. No, because it was the first “unofficial” freshers party that was given to us by the seniors (where we paid from our own pocket) and since you were in my batch and for the past 15 classes that I had attended with you, you were a silent and sincere type girl who I had friend request on fb two days back (because I had joined facebook five days back and I had added all batchmates and you were just one among the 160 others). Yeah, so I had assumed that you were a silent and sincere types but watching you dance in the disco I was impressed with your dance.
Well, maybe it was because I am a “barati-type-dancer” who had even rarely danced in weddings because my feet was stuck on the ground by my shyness and I could hardly shake my legs. Also, maybe because it was the first time that in 18 years of my life I had for the first time been to a disco and in that dark room I had shed all my shy-self and tried to shake myself beyond the limit.
And, there watching people who showed off their americanized version, your dance was original and beautiful and I just have a habit of praising all the beauty that I could see. And, for the first time I realized that if an introvert like you can dance, so can I.
So, maybe your comment was right I was hitting on you, but it was not the figure that you showed but the dance moves that you made. Because, after I said your dance is great and had danced with you for a minute, I had walked out with my friends and I had never cared to think about my words unless people blamed me of being flirty.
I mean does genuine appreciation of beauty amounts to being flirty? Well, I guess I have a different dictionary.
The reason, I record this incident and I remember it still after almost four years is because it taught me to watch my words and stop being liberal with my appreciations in college.
Also, because when I was almost on the verge of forgetting this incident, some one else again reminded me to hold fast to this rule.
This second girl was classmate of my sister and had pestered me with friend requests before I finally accepted her. I had added her at the time when the girl that I had loved her had cheated on me and I was alone and very sad. Now, initially in her case I was interested to have a relation with her because one, she is a rajput girl (yeah caste is a big issue, will write about it someday) and second, because she has singh as her title (yeah, weird, I know but I guess I was turning into a despo kind of a person).
But, eventually good sense prevailed and before I could have started flirting with her I decided to treat her like my sister’s friend. So, everything was going fine and I started to avoid her but then she started to chat about love and boyfriend-girlfriend issues, asking me about my relationships and here again I committed a blunder of being honest and simple. Since, there wasn’t much to talk about and she used to ping every time I was online on fb, our talks used to start from formal hi-hello and how are you and her questions would veer towards this love type topics. I slowly started to ignore her and permanently showed myself offline on her chat.
Fast forward, two months. I was working late evening in the my office during the internship and at around 8 pm when I am trying to complete my work and leave for home, I receive a call from an unknown number and I again made a blunder by picking up the call assuming that it was from some known friends as the number pattern belonged to my state.
And, I hear a guy inquiring about this girl and asking me if I am in a relationship with her.
And, I am like What the Fuck
He started quizzing me like a cop and some how trying to force me to blurt out that I am in a relation with this girl. And, then my head started to get on fire as I had work to complete. And, then after he had inquired about my sister and I had repeatedly clarified my position that I treat her like a sister. Finally, in the bollywood dialogue to the question of who he was, he said I can ask the girl.
I cam back to my room, switched on the laptop and the first thing I did was block the girl. She had messaged me saying, “bahut flirt kiya mere sath, aur maine kab bola bhaiya.”
This thing again disturbed me for a day or two, because I was just honest and open with her and treated her more like sister. But, I guess I was wrong, I think if I would have really flirted with her and used her like everyother boy then it would have been better but the problem is I can’t do that because my mom has taught me differently.
These two incidents have for some reasons (and I exactly don’t know why?) have hurt me a lot and taught me to be silent in my appreciations and deceptive in my words.
Maybe the “Why” will be answered some day.